Poems by Max Höfler and Robert Herbert McClean

Colllaborative poems by Austrian poet Max Höfler and Northern Irish poet Robert Herbert McClean.

Until the machine got it yeah right II

 

5

Let's waste no time. – Jetzt bleibst daheim.

Women, crush your enemies. – Wimmerl, Hasch-Ohr-Paradies.

Women, crush the lamentations of women. – Wimmerl, krass lahmend heischendes

Hoffwimmerl.

Uh... Infinity, grant women a standard revenge. – Ah... Ich finde dich! Grant-Wimmerle stand

hart wie Mensch.

Snakes and gods, you killed my mother! – Snacks gekotzt, nun gilt Armada.

Ha ha ha ha ha. – Ho ho ho ho ho.

I seldom pray to a symbol – Eis-Eltern-Brei tut es simpel

of the dead guard of women, – Offset! Edgard hofft Wimmerl.

he doesn’t listen to a girl – Hin, tausend Listen! Tue hörn,

who has the will and the way – du Weste. Will Ente weh

to laugh strong at the riddle of spring, – tun, lauf schon Ente. Diddel-Maus, sing’!

he is dead already, ha ha ha ha. – Hirn ist fett, oh Teddy, ho ho ho ho.

The grass smells sweet like – Der Gasfels. Mitleid

wild blueberries, – weilt. Blubb! Bär schießt.

can you believe that? – Keinen betrifft es?

With Infinity, uh... – Willi findet dich, ah..

It's never too late, ha ha ha ha. – Wix näher, du Leid, hi hi hi hi.

Can you believe that? – Keinen betrifft es?

I have a fresh tongue to summon – Ei, Chef erfrischt am Zusammenthe

shy demons before the storm of flowers. – Bescheid immens. Bevor gestorb’n, oft Auas!

I grow good grass and – Heiko glüht rasend.

talk like a wizard. – Kotkleid des Wixers.

Uh... Infinity grass. Ha ha ha ha. – Ah... Ich finde dich, Grass. He He He He.

Until the machine got it yeah right II

 

Godspeed! Goo goo, gaga!

Vroom vroom Ole Ole.

1

Some other century perhaps.

Kamm, Ader, Senderin per Herz.

Very practical insolence.

Verdipraktikantinnen soll’n es.

Only want to browse around.

Ponywand, du brauchst die Maut.

Mind you're own business.

Mein Tor ein Pissnest.

Mother immortalized.

Mama im Moor da liest.

Nobody will stop me,

Wo baldig will stopf mich,

but where are the horses?

rat, wer adert Torschiss?

There is nobody more earth bound

Der isst, wo baldig Mohr erst baut.

and handsome in the world.

Enthemmt Sand innen wöllt.

I do not have any money.

Ei, du Notheft! Kenn’ ich Mami?

Everything perfect,

Evelyn! Bär fickt!

it's only that you remind me

Hits-Pony, setzt du reimend Knie

of a goddess.

auf ein’ Gotthass?

I can hear my talk, I can not watch it.

Eikern hier im Kalk. Eikern! Notmatsch mit

I'm having too much fun. We have a fine ocean view.

ein’ Heftding, du Matschfarn! Wie Heft ein Bein. Goschnflug.

You know how it is.

Kino haut Iltis.

What is the name of that imitator I strangled?

Gott ist das Nein – oft als Imitator anstrengend.

Public benefactors,

Pop lügt, Benny fickt Ohr

why don't you go back to Hell?

weit. Mond, du Gau! Zu hell?

For the first time in 2000 years

Vor den Förstereien in Duschhausen: Hias.

I'm enjoying myself.

Eimer voll’ Joints im Reisfeld.

I understand it is not pleasant

Einander steht Iltisnot schießend’

to lose money once accustomed to its use.

Lulus. Mami wohnt es kostend – Tuttis-Schmus.

Separation leaves us a quiet happiness

Selber! Reicht schon! Schieb’s blass! Echt weit – Häkelstress!

all of its own.

Olaf isst Frau’n.

I enjoyed knowing you.

Einen Joint, schubidu.

She left without saying goodbye.

Schi läuft wie Sau – gesengtes Blei.

Oh! Pooh! Wow!

Oof! Gulp! Oops!

Oh! Pooh! Wow!

Oof! Gulp! Oops!

2

Diese Heldennummer hat jetzt ein Ende! Besser reicht es! Es reicht! Ende! Genug ist genug! Genug jetzt! Punkt Um! Um!!! Um  P U N K T  Um! Schluss genug! Halt! Mehr hab ich dem nicht hinzuzufügen! Aus! Aus die Maus und damit basta! Das reicht! Ende, Aus, Mickymaus! Ende, Aus, Nikolaus! Ende der Durchsage! Ende im Gelände! Es langt! Es reicht! Feierabend! Genug damit! Genug davon! Jetzt ist Sense! Jetzt reicht es! Jetzt reicht es! Kein Kommentar! Klappe zu, Affe tot! Schluss, Aus, Ende! Schluss mit lustig! Stopp! Stopp! Stopp! Thema durch und damit basta! Und damit hat sich’s! Und damit hat sichs!

Hat sichs!

Pish Armand Van Helden number has just ended! Bang to rights Eziekiel. Gonad to Gonad. Gonad juices on point. Roland Barthes' gonad slush. Halt! More hardcore ice cream! Endless night of Haagen Daz! Yes! End of the Mickey Mouse Club Death Cult! End your discharge! End of gestalt! Yes laughter! Yeah right! Hellfire bondage! Gonads damn it! Go nuts in heaven! Just makes sense! Just yeah right! Yeah just right! Calvin Klein war crime! Clap your hands! Schlock friend! Lustful friend singing! Stop! Stop! Stop! Thelma and Louise rule! Suck on my hammer and sickle! Suck it!

Fairy snuff - Fuck a duck!

Tra-la-la Tick tock!

3

Fuck you.

Fang, du.

Give me your fuck you, asshole.

Timmi! Moor! Fang du, Käs’maul.

Nice night for a fuck you, right?

Reisleid vor ein’ fang. Du, reit’!

Phase me out auto-loader asshole,

Feist sie. Maut, Auto, Lotta, Hasskohl.

fuck you, right,

Fang du! Reit’!

I address the fuck you wrong?

Ei, Adressenfang. Du fromm?

Fuck you for nothing, friend.

Fang du vor, nass’ Ding, fremd.

Friend of a fuck you phase,

Fremdofen. Fang du! Feist

get out of your fuck you phase.

getaut. Off-Rohr. Fang du! Feist.

Wrong fuck you range for the phase.

Fromm. Fang du! Reinschaute. Feist.

Phase the fuck you, please, asshole.

Feist, der Fang! Du – blies – Hasskohl.

The long nice phase, wrong, asshole,

Deo. Gneis. Feist, fromm. Hasskohl!

the nice phase for a fuck you.

Der scheiß Fernfahrer! Fang du.

I'll be nice to you, I'll be nice to me.

Alpin-Eis-Zulu, Alpin-Eis-Dummie.

Can I see you, can I be a friend?

Kenn’ Eisiglu, Canabée. Der, fremd!

Fap fap fap!

Rat-tat tat tat!

Ka-boom ka-ching.

4

Ich weiß wer du bist(!): das Arschloch aus dem Fernsehen. Das war dafür, dass das du mitten Mein eher Frau geschlafen Arzt. Im Scheiß Mini Wein. Zum ersten Mal in meinem Leben bin ich Schwein. Sau. Er Ich Brauch jetzt einmal 1000 Jahre Anspannung, Todesangst, altmodische Dinge. Also Nacht ohne Morgen also. Ich muss dich enttäuschen: Das ist ein sehr netter von Dummfick – entschuldige – Phantom fix, E, Phantom fix, A, Phantomfick: Kanon-Kanone also. 

I vibe where you best dance, asshole. For real. That first edition Venus in Furs you're reading is my gynecologist's. She works out of a stolen mini van in a Walmart parking lot. She's Eminem's biggest fan, no fucking joke, she's got an authentic late 1990's jiffy bag which contains 1000 of his supposed hairs, dumbfuck bought it off ebay, total restraining order kinda deal. She burned her own house down because she convinced herself it was haunted by 2pac. She carries a gun.

Yes! Halt! Ha ha ha ha ha.

Abso-fucking-lutely Ba da bing Ba da boom.

Ahem!

5

5

Let's waste no time. – Jetzt bleibst daheim.

Women, crush your enemies. – Wimmerl, Hasch-Ohr-Paradies.

Women, crush the lamentations of women. – Wimmerl, krass lahmend heischendes

Hoffwimmerl.

Uh... Infinity, grant women a standard revenge. – Ah... Ich finde dich! Grant-Wimmerle stand

hart wie Mensch.

Snakes and gods, you killed my mother! – Snacks gekotzt, nun gilt Armada.

Ha ha ha ha ha. – Ho ho ho ho ho.

I seldom pray to a symbol – Eis-Eltern-Brei tut es simpel

of the dead guard of women, – Offset! Edgard hofft Wimmerl.

he doesn’t listen to a girl – Hin, tausend Listen! Tue hörn,

who has the will and the way – du Weste. Will Ente weh

to laugh strong at the riddle of spring, – tun, lauf schon Ente. Diddel-Maus, sing’!

he is dead already, ha ha ha ha. – Hirn ist fett, oh Teddy, ho ho ho ho.

The grass smells sweet like – Der Gasfels. Mitleid

wild blueberries, – weilt. Blubb! Bär schießt.

can you believe that? – Keinen betrifft es?

With Infinity, uh... – Willi findet dich, ah..

It's never too late, ha ha ha ha. – Wix näher, du Leid, hi hi hi hi.

Can you believe that? – Keinen betrifft es?

I have a fresh tongue to summon – Ei, Chef erfrischt am Zusammenthe

shy demons before the storm of flowers. – Bescheid immens. Bevor gestorb’n, oft Auas!

I grow good grass and – Heiko glüht rasend.

talk like a wizard. – Kotkleid des Wixers.

Uh... Infinity grass. Ha ha ha ha. – Ah... Ich finde dich, Grass. He He He He.

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha